Did you forget?! Have you fucking forgotten? It is you that keeps you in chains.
I sift through my day to day with a debilitated ability to meet honesty within myself. I act and react in the confines and limitations of my own thoughts and conditioning. Using the measurement of likability and unspoken rules to determine my life’s value creates an existence.
What binds you is the very fear of what you think could break you.
I am still acting like a child, forgetting my journey. I walk around fervently trying to prevent repeated pain. The kind where I feel helpless, confused, alone, and nowhere to go. I regress in my thoughts immobilizing my power. The incessant run through my mind that I will finally be broken. Broken to the point I will stay down, never to rise again. Destroyed, ruined, worthless, finally believing what all the shit throughout my life would have me believe.
You chain your heart, not because others can’t be trusted. You chain your heart because you don’t trust yourself.
Truth is like finally finding that confusing piece to the puzzle. Your relieved, things make sense, but part of you misses the tension of the search and confusion. Truth beckons a response. And what if you're not quite ready? Maybe I ignore it. Deny it. Fight it. My conditioning in the confines of a religion kept me from trusting myself. Prevented me from listening to my instincts. Ripped my voice from me. My heart is mine, belongs to me and uncovering the truths of what I have been through helps me connect with what my heart needs. The ironic thing is that my heart and I would cease to exist without one another and yet I believe I must relent my ownership of my heart in exchange for love. So, I hide it. I protect it. I do not trust myself to keep my heart intact when tempted with love and connection.
Unbind yourself, let your hearts cry reverberate the freedom of your existence.
I choose to not be absorbed by fear of my past trauma. I choose to emancipate myself from the confines of cultural and religious programming. I choose to unbind myself from myself. I choose to throw the chains off and liberate my heart.
Not easy to express, but more easily said than done, I think.