The Fairy Tale Plea

Power & Freedom

With one plea, unknowingly, they give their power away. The power of self. Presented as an offering of the heart, wrapped in a petition for a pain-free love. Impersonating vulnerability.

“You're not going to hurt me, right?” lips mutter softly.

“Don’t hurt me” eyes wide and hopeful.

It’s the fairytale plea, the one that the honest self does not believe, but a story the enchanted self tells.

“Pain-free love, come to me, someone else guarantee what I need”.

They cry it out, exchange it with a thousand promises, certain to never be the offender. The fairy tale plea is written on the walls of their minds, tucked away in a pocket of the heart to save for later.

Later, as fates would have it, someone gets hurt. But in order to understand what it becomes, we need to understand exactly how it began.

The beginning, when the misappropriation of power and imitation vulnerability takes its first hold. They plea for a pain-free love and who can blame them? Yet these things are said out of a place of fear, and uncertainty. They set the entire course of the relationship towards unmet expectations. They give away their power to make clear thoughtful decisions. They pretend the “vulnerability” of the plea gives the relationship a fair chance.

The sobering reality is that the only way to make quality decisions is when one understands all the risks and benefits. There is a confidence that grounds informed, honest choices. A security in truly going eyes wide open and being realistic about our fallible human condition. This may not seem like the sexiest approach to a new squeeze, but it sure as hell is freeing. And let’s be honest, there is nothing sexier than freedom. Especially in relationships. Freedom to be wholly, fully you. Bare your all and be known.

The confusion with the fairy tale is that the freedom actually comes from oneself, not a “do-no-harm” partner. A self-assured human understands what they need and is not bound by counterfeit pleas or make-believe pain-free love. They understand the risks of getting involved with another. They keep their personal power to decide what is healthy and what is not. The power of being gate keeper of our own hearts. The power to influence our decision whether or not to invest our hearts into this other imperfect human.

No one really knows what direction a relationship may take. The vulnerability comes in a conversation about when, not if, we hurt each other. Pain in love is an inevitable occurrence. Understanding one another, acknowledging the delight in the power over oneself, and the freedom that comes without the pressure of unrealistic expectations.

As I think about this, and times when I have said those exact words, I realize how important it is to have a developed, strong sense of self and the power one holds. In that space, we are better individuals and better partners. We all love a good fairytale but maybe our happy ending is writing the story as we go. Powerful, eyes open, and hearts free for whatever may come, later. 🌻